For the first time ..

For the first time I feel guilty for what Im facing and doing .. 

Dear God , why you choose me to fall in love with a ' weird ' guy ? 

He's not my type , he's too way different from me . 

I am a ' kampung ' girl . I dont wear sexy , I dont go to the club , I dont mix up with boys , I am a daddy's girl .

All of the girls that always make him smile is a sexy girl , clubber , prostitute , famous girl , hot girl and all those negative things . 

He slept with girls for many times , he smoke , he is a clubber , he love sexy girls , ..

I dont know why am I choosen for him or this is just a test before I found a better one ? 

I cannot understand what exactly love is and I wish I could understand it perfectly..

Dear F ,

I just love you because I do. I can't change it. Its not my choice. I wish I didn't, but that's how love is. I can't say a word about you. I have to forget about you. I wish you didn't make it so difficult for both. There are things I wish I could tell you. There are many things I need tell you, but I can't find the way. I can't find you. Your way of looking life is different from mine. I can't change it. Its not my choice. I wish I didn't love you. I can't forget about you. I just wish it could all work out like it once happened.

Lots of love , Sahara K ;(